link jamz, vol 11
in celebration and horror of tweendom
Welcome to Congrats, You Played Yourself, a newsletter about growing up and celebrating the mistakes we make along the way.
I share stupid stories about myself, others, and anyone else willing to share. Life is dumb, and that’s the best part about it.
Today’s tweens are certifiably Built Different. Open up any social app and you’ll almost instantly be greeted with kids these days who can dance, write, ball, roller blade, apply eyeliner, and apparently just exist in a less cringey (cheugy? is that what the kids are saying?) way. Sometimes all at the same time?? More on that below.
But I’m not here to tell you things you don’t know — I’m here to celebrate the things we do. Yes, while most pre-pubescent Youths won’t deal with the true challenges and horrors of Y2K fashion (we can not let Gen Z rewrite fashion history here!! this is our cross to bear) or the anxiety of calling your homeroom crush on their landline only to have their mom answer, or the stress of picking the *pErFeCt* song lyric for your AIM away message, they also won’t ever know the unbridled joy of perusing aisles of Blockbuster looking for the perfect Friday night flick to watch with your besties (or the heartbreaking letdown if your DVD — or VHS!! — had already been rented), or the safety of wearing aforementioned Y2K trends without someone documenting it for the internet and a million of their closest TikTok friends to enjoy forever.
We could make mistakes and live with the genuine hope and assumed knowledge that yes, people would eventually forget that phase you went through of crimping your hair in chaotic and truthfully senseless ways to look like your Disney idol Lizzie McGuire because they either didn’t document it or they lost the disposable camera they took pictures with or their Motorola Razr ran out of storage again so they deleted the one piece of photo evidence of you rocking… whatever this is.
Because I am me, and this newsletter is based primarily in sharing embarrassing and cheugy (??? Gen Z pls approve) parts of myself so others feel more empowered to own their frighteningly cringe moments — where was I at 13? Obviously, I was choreographing dances to Britney Spears songs in my best friend’s very 2000s-esque room. Please appreciate the Abercrombie and Fitch bags as Art. Also, because I was me, and not much as changed, I was oddly disciplined about capturing content and then backing it up immediately onto PhotoBucket — God forbid we lose any of the incredible moments I had captured — I have photo evidence.
At risk of re-stating the obvious, not much as changed in the past decade and a half. My fashion aesthetic is still Middle-School-Boy-Ready-For-Gym-Class and I still spend a majority of my free time learning choreography for songs, the main difference being that YouTube and TikTok exist now, so I let internet-famous teens teach me moves instead of inventing them on my own. Probably for the best.
Enough about me. On to your semi-weekly dispatch of links. This week: tween-inspired content, plus others. Also, I’d love to hear: what were you doing at age 13?
She spells better than you. She balls better than you. She is better than you. She is: Zaila Avant-garde, and she is my hero.
The Olympics are a tweens’ world, we’re just living in it. And probably crying during their medal ceremonies.
Both Gold and Silver medals for Women’s Street Skateboarding went to 13-year-old girls from Japan and Brazil.
Anyone born between ‘85 and ‘95 will feel this a little too well.
And because AIM deserved another reference: Lyrics As Your AIM Away Message: An Appreciation.
A pull-quote from one of my favorite newsletters, griefbacon. This is from one of her weekly subscriber comment forums, where she’ll write a lil mini essay and ask a question for her subscribers to answer. This essay in particular was about embarrassment, and is *chef’s kiss*.
But other part is that I’m interested in what embarrasses people, myself and others, because it is often the core of who we are. The things that embarrass us tend to be the things that mean the most to us, that live closest to our skin and bone. They are the things that we refuse to give up even when we know they don’t necessarily reflect well on us, even when they are ungainly or inelegant, childish or uncool or out of fashion, saying too much, telling on ourselves. Love is an uncomfortably precise mirror, a way of being perceived, and therefore it is very often embarrassing. The things we are embarrassed by are what we love in spite of ourselves, what we love at the end of the day, when we think no one is looking.
From another newsletter I’ve recently found and am very much enjoying, Supergranular:
When I was 13 I had a very clear idea of how my life was going to unfold. I’d get married at 24. Have my first kid at 26. Second kid at 30. I met my first wife when I was 18, putting me in a great position to hit those targets. When we didn’t get married for 9 years I figured I still had a punter’s chance.
Here’s how the next 15 years of my life went:
separated at 29
divorced at 33
married again at 34
separated at 40
divorced at 43
An incredibly well-written reflection on failure, relationships, and why the way we we’re taught to look at both is already a fail to begin with.
“There are no mistakes, only lessons.”
Some inspirational speakers to bring you into the weekend:
Happy Friday, my friends.